Please leave me a message here so I can get to know you. It is my pleasure to spread the Word Of God to the masses, so count yourselves lucky...no BLESSED to have been added to my friends list.

Go in peace.

:)

It truly has been a long time, has it not? I wish I could say I was busy doing the Lord's work since the time of my last entry, but truth be told, I lapsed in my duty as a Christian. :(

My older brother has become a father. He has not married the harlot, and he asked her to kill the life that God has placed inside her womb. While I am angry at the whore for wearing enticing clothes around my brother and making him have relations with her, I do believe the child is innocent. Unfortunately, despite my attempts to spread God's message of love and hell, they ultimately both agreed to murder the baby. Thus, I had failed.

So where have I been all these months? Trying to find God again, I suppose. I have been reading the Bible and meditating on preserverence. I have also taken my lessons from George Bush, Holy President. I wish to one day be as headstrong and resilient as he is, never wavering in the face of unpopularity, death, the liberal media, or homosexuality. He is doing the work of God, and for me to continue on the same path, I must be as tenacious as he is. I am a God fearing American, and I support our troops.

So, I'm sure by now that everyone has heard about the House Bill to shoot all Mexicans and their supporters on sight. I must say that I am quite pleased that our Holy Government is FINALLY doing something about all these illegals. It's bad enough these people steal jobs from black people (who should be in the fields, anyway), but to think that we'll no longer have to wade through throngs of them at Wal-Mart is simply wonderful. Praise be Unto GOD!!

The American government is truly the most powerful entity on Earth, and we are clearly doing the Lord's work. President Bush may very well be Christ returned! Last Sunday in church, our pastor told us that we have to support President Bush no matter what the liberal media is saying about him. The liberal media does nothing but spread lies, he told us. I believe him. Like, if the Mexicans were SOOOOO destitute back in their home countries, why in the world would they come here to America, put their kids in our schools, use our healthcare, refuse to learn English, take black people's jobs, and THEN send money back to Mexico??? I'll tell you why: it's so they can make Mexico even richer. They take American money and funnel it back into their own dirty country. If the Holy American government wanted to help Mexico, we'd be giving them money and medicines and other incentives to keep them in Mexico. But we're not because Mexico is rich enough to support its own people. I mean, come on! They have a patent on tacos. Of COURSE they're rolling in the dough!!

But Satan has overtaken them, and he's made them vulnerable to greed. Thank God that hasn't happened in America.

Oh yeah, to my fellow churchmembers, don't forget about the Hot Dog Roast coming up on Saturday. Brother Raymond is going to tell us again why homosexuality is Satan's curse.

Well, it's official. Benji left our church last week. He returned the special secret underwear we issue to new members, and Sister Franklin kept muttering about strange, crusty yellowed spots on the back of Benji's underpants. She had to send them through the washer twice before they were clean. I helped her with the task, and I also folded up the set nicely and wrapped it up for our newest church member Herbert Davis. Herb, as he likes to be called, is from Chicago.

Last week some Mexicans stopped by the mission looking for work. Their English was flawless, but no one was fooled. As a test to see how much of Satan they have in them, Sister Peterson told them they could work for the mission if they could reach the cannister of Ajax on the top shelf in the storage room. They couldn't, so Sister Peterson started up a sermon right then and there. It was a beautiful sight to behold. After they received the word of God, they were immediately shown the back door.

I've been watching Fox News a lot lately, and since I know they're always truthful (and thank the good Lord they aren't hindered by that abominable liberal bias), I have decided that the Muslims are insane. Everyone knows Mohammed wasn't a real prophet. He's just the subject of many primitive tribal stories. He's nowhere in the Bible, so why are they worshipping a false prophet? I applaud the Danes for taking a stand against this heathen religion. If the Danes weren't so secular, I'd almost gaurantee that they'd have a place in heaven right next to John the Baptist.

I have to go now, but don't think I've forgotten about retelling the tales of my German mission trip because I haven't.

Go in peace!

In that order. Amen.